How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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