I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
