She said her name was "party"
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
