My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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