she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Randomize
