Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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