Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Boobs are out for the taking
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Sext me about skeletons
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
