my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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