I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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