We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The air was thick with penises
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Randomize
