I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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