I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
