i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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