If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
