I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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