I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
