best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
