Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
