Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
