the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
