Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you will always have a special place in my vag
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
