Sry I called you an 8
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
