Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
