Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
