Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
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