ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
