Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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