I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
