By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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