I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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