Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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