There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Mom said you looked used
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
