all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
