Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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