thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
