do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
