Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
