its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
