first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Randomize
