i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
