dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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