I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
