She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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