I skipped work to stalk him.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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