i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
