Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
