I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
