you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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