I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
