no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
