Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
