glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize